Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize