I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
