Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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