these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize