shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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