Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize