Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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