We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
