I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
