Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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