Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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