under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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