It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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