As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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