Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
