Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
