So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
