i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
