drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish i was in the wii world.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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