so explain again why im purple
no
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
