Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize