What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
