I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
