My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
