Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
