Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
did i just pee glitter
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
