What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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