so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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