Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
