just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
