She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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