Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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