I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize