Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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