You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
