Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i think i have herpe
just one?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
