A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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