I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
