They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
