I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
