some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
