You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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