I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
