It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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