It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
