Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Randomize
