curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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