Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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