OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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