I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize