In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
