she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
