69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize