Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
