And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
