You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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