It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
