i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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