This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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