hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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