Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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