there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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