thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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