You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize