And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Michael Bay diarrhea
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
