I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
