That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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