i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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