Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
