Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
