Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
