Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you never un-have a 4some
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
