Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
