I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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