IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I love you. Go after that dick
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
