That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize