Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
