The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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