In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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